SirKindWolf Family Pact
Family Mission: The mission of the SirKindWolf Family is to
support each other in exploring life, love and the lifestyle in a healthy
manner. It is not our goal to grow to a
large group, but rather a small group that will behave as a
family; a kinky family, but still a family. We are a D/s family and therefore
based on a Patriarchal model. This is and
will remain a non-biological, all adult family.
Head of Household: Kitten and I are an inclusive couple. Firstly,
this means that family members join me as Patriarch or Master and her as sister.
Secondly, Kitten and I are swingers and will continue to be. Finally, as
our family may grow both IRL-wise and LDR-wise, all members will respect their
role in this family and their family members’ existing relationships outside
the Family.
Faith: Kitten and I are very much Christians. This
aspect of our Life will be respected at all times by family members.
Challenge: As Patriarch and
Master, I consider myself a fair man. I accept challenge, but it must
come respectfully for my consideration.
Extra-Family
Relationships: As Patriarch and Master, I may push you in ways that you may or
may not have been pushed before. I will change you and will push your
boundaries around. It will be up to you to reconcile nominal changes with
your extra-Family relationships. I will strive to not do or allow anything
to purposely cause you friction in those relationships, but it is not my job,
place or role to try and manage your relationship with your extra-Family
relationships. This does not mean that
your family members aren’t here for you when you struggle with anything, just
that those relationships are outside our sphere of control.
D/s Hierarchy: As Patriarch, I
recognize that there could be other D/s hierarchies by family members,
both between family members or with extra-Family partners. As Patriarch, I must know about and approve
these relationships to ensure they don’t disrupt Family harmony or hierarchy.
Communication: There will be multiple conversation streams
in any Family. This is true in
biological families as well as D/s or poly families. Open group and individual conversation is
encouraged and required in order for a family to work. Individual conversations are healthy and
supportive, especially when problems occur or emotional things happen. These conversations should be respectful,
healing and loving to the individuals and the group. I will not get into these conversations or
intervene as long as they are healthy.
If they are divisive, accusatory, conspiratorial or unhealthy for
individuals or the Family at large, I will drag them out into the light of day
and resolve them. Open, honest
communication is important.
Honesty and communication are the keys to any successful
relationship. The Family will strive toward this goal, communicating our
needs, desires, wants, pleasure, displeasure, anger, happiness,
worry....anything that would affect our Family dynamic.
We will be open, honest, have fun and give each other the
benefit of the doubt that no-one has the goal to hurt one another. This
is important when a written communication may come across wrong. Always
assume that everyone means well to each other.
All members are expected to remain communicative. Disappearing causes worry and disengages the Family. At that point, why be a part of
a family? However, we all need quiet
time. Just communicate your needs and
expectations to the Family.
Protocol: As Patriarch, I
should be addressed as Sir unless we have agreed on a different individual role
or title/name. I am not a high protocol
Dom, but I do feel the title reinforces our roles and connects us with respect
to those roles as well as encourages a family based on respect. There may also be certain names of endearment
that exist for and between individual members.
Those names and terms are to be negotiated between those members. It is appropriate for Sisters in the family
to refer to each other as Sis or their family pet name. As an example: Kitten the pet name of my partner. Should other males enter the family we will
determine those names at that time.
As far as rules for subs go, these will be negotiated between
the Dominant and submissive individually.
This includes any daily regimens, tasks, forms of presentation, etc.
between the Dom/Domme and sub.
Safety: The D/s family that plays together, stays
together. It is assumed that our family
plays within and possibly with members outside.
General BDSM safety rules and concepts apply. It is up to each member of the Family to
become educated in these concepts.
However, at a high level, I will address some key points here along with
a few Family HARD-LIMITS.
Safe, Sane, Consensual: – All play will be
conducted by the principals of Safe, Sane and Consensual. As such it is up to each family member to
know the likes, dislikes, fetishes, soft limits and hard limits of each
individual they play with. Some level of
negotiation must occur in the relationship or the scene. If the scene is intense, special negotiation
should occur prior to the scene even if you feel you know the person inside and
out as long time play partners. Safe
words will be observed at all times.
Unsafe play especially after repeated cautions could cause expulsion from
the Family.
Family Safe Words: As a Family, it is safest if we agree on words
we all recognize. We will use the Red,
Yellow, Green safe word system that is widely used. Red means stop,
Yellow means I am approaching my limit or am uncomfortable.
The top will adjust the situation when hearing yellow. Green means good
to go. Additionally, if the Dominant is about to take the sub
into something that is riskier than normal, He/She will remind the
submissive of these safe words and have them re-stated back to Him/Her. These
are Family Play safe words and may also be used in inter-family relationships as
well. However, if tasks or conditions
are counter to, or would harm a member’s extra-family relationships, it is
appropriate for individuals to negotiate other safe words that let the Dom/Domme or Top differentiate between a personal boundary and a relationship obligation
or conflict.
Family Hard Limits: As a Family we have certain Hard Limits that
we accept as pertaining to all in the Family.
Individuals may have other negotiated Hard Limits as well and it is the
responsibility of all to know their family members’ hard limits even if you are
not playing with them. We will endeavor
to look after each other with respect to this even if someone is playing outside
the Family. We will protect each other
when we see a family or individual hard limit breached. These Hard Limits may be changed at any time, but will require discussion by the Family.
Family Hard Limits:
· No Blood Play
· No Scat Play
· No Extreme
Humiliation
· No play anyone
under 18 years of age
· No Scarification
· No kicking or
extreme compression of testicles
Topping from the
Bottom: I will accept bratting
as a bit of playful banter; but will not allow it when I feel it is topping from
the bottom.
Negotiation: All members and potential members of the Family will complete the full battery of Negotiation surveys. These will be completely evaluated by
SirKindWolf. At a minimum, health
concerns, triggers and hard limits will be communicated within the Family. All other results will remain confidential to
the expectation of the family member.
Further negotiation should occur as part of any scene between family
members or any other play partner.
