SirKindWolf Family Pact

Family Mission:  The mission of the SirKindWolf Family is to support each other in exploring life, love and the lifestyle in a healthy manner.  It is not our goal to grow to a large group, but rather a small group that will behave as a family; a kinky family, but still a family. We are a D/s family and therefore based on a Patriarchal model.  This is and will remain a non-biological, all adult family.

Head of Household:  Kitten and I are an inclusive couple.  Firstly, this means that family members join me as Patriarch or Master and her as sister.  Secondly, Kitten and I are swingers and will continue to be.  Finally, as our family may grow both IRL-wise and LDR-wise, all members will respect their role in this family and their family members’ existing relationships outside the Family.

Faith:  Kitten and I are very much Christians.  This aspect of our Life will be respected at all times by family members.

Challenge: As Patriarch and Master, I consider myself a fair man.  I accept challenge, but it must come respectfully for my consideration.

Extra-Family Relationships: As Patriarch and Master, I may push you in ways that you may or may not have been pushed before.  I will change you and will push your boundaries around.  It will be up to you to reconcile nominal changes with your extra-Family relationships.  I will strive to not do or allow anything to purposely cause you friction in those relationships, but it is not my job, place or role to try and manage your relationship with your extra-Family relationships.  This does not mean that your family members aren’t here for you when you struggle with anything, just that those relationships are outside our sphere of control.

D/s Hierarchy: As Patriarch, I recognize that there could be other D/s hierarchies by family members, both between family members or with extra-Family partners.  As Patriarch, I must know about and approve these relationships to ensure they don’t disrupt Family harmony or hierarchy.

Communication:  There will be multiple conversation streams in any Family.  This is true in biological families as well as D/s or poly families.  Open group and individual conversation is encouraged and required in order for a family to work.  Individual conversations are healthy and supportive, especially when problems occur or emotional things happen.  These conversations should be respectful, healing and loving to the individuals and the group.  I will not get into these conversations or intervene as long as they are healthy.  If they are divisive, accusatory, conspiratorial or unhealthy for individuals or the Family at large, I will drag them out into the light of day and resolve them.  Open, honest communication is important. 

Honesty and communication are the keys to any successful relationship.  The Family will strive toward this goal, communicating our needs, desires, wants, pleasure, displeasure, anger, happiness, worry....anything that would affect our Family dynamic.

We will be open, honest, have fun and give each other the benefit of the doubt that no-one has the goal to hurt one another.  This is important when a written communication may come across wrong.  Always assume that everyone means well to each other.

All members are expected to remain communicative.  Disappearing causes worry and disengages the Family.  At that point, why be a part of a family?  However, we all need quiet time.  Just communicate your needs and expectations to the Family.

Protocol: As Patriarch, I should be addressed as Sir unless we have agreed on a different individual role or title/name.  I am not a high protocol Dom, but I do feel the title reinforces our roles and connects us with respect to those roles as well as encourages a family based on respect.  There may also be certain names of endearment that exist for and between individual members.  Those names and terms are to be negotiated between those members.  It is appropriate for Sisters in the family to refer to each other as Sis or their family pet name.  As an example:  Kitten the pet name of my partner.  Should other males enter the family we will determine those names at that time. 

As far as rules for subs go, these will be negotiated between the Dominant and submissive individually.  This includes any daily regimens, tasks, forms of presentation, etc. between the Dom/Domme and sub.

Safety:  The D/s family that plays together, stays together.  It is assumed that our family plays within and possibly with members outside.  General BDSM safety rules and concepts apply.  It is up to each member of the Family to become educated in these concepts.  However, at a high level, I will address some key points here along with a few Family HARD-LIMITS.

Safe, Sane, Consensual: – All play will be conducted by the principals of Safe, Sane and Consensual.  As such it is up to each family member to know the likes, dislikes, fetishes, soft limits and hard limits of each individual they play with.  Some level of negotiation must occur in the relationship or the scene.  If the scene is intense, special negotiation should occur prior to the scene even if you feel you know the person inside and out as long time play partners.  Safe words will be observed at all times.  Unsafe play especially after repeated cautions could cause expulsion from the Family. 

Family Safe Words:  As a Family, it is safest if we agree on words we all recognize.  We will use the Red, Yellow, Green safe word system that is widely used.  Red means stop, Yellow means I am approaching my limit or am uncomfortable.  The top will adjust the situation when hearing yellow.  Green means good to go.  Additionally, if the Dominant is about to take the sub into something that is riskier than normal, He/She will remind the submissive of these safe words and have them re-stated back to Him/Her. These are Family Play safe words and may also be used in inter-family relationships as well.  However, if tasks or conditions are counter to, or would harm a member’s extra-family relationships, it is appropriate for individuals to negotiate other safe words that let the Dom/Domme or Top differentiate between a personal boundary and a relationship obligation or conflict.   

Family Hard Limits:  As a Family we have certain Hard Limits that we accept as pertaining to all in the Family.  Individuals may have other negotiated Hard Limits as well and it is the responsibility of all to know their family members’ hard limits even if you are not playing with them.  We will endeavor to look after each other with respect to this even if someone is playing outside the Family.  We will protect each other when we see a family or individual hard limit breached.  These Hard Limits may be changed at any time, but will require discussion by the Family.
Family Hard Limits:
·       No Blood Play
·       No Scat Play
·       No Extreme Humiliation
·       No play anyone under 18 years of age
·       No Scarification
·       No kicking or extreme compression of testicles

Topping from the Bottom:  I will accept bratting as a bit of playful banter; but will not allow it when I feel it is topping from the bottom.

Negotiation:  All members and potential members of the Family will complete the full battery of Negotiation surveys.  These will be completely evaluated by SirKindWolf.  At a minimum, health concerns, triggers and hard limits will be communicated within the Family.  All other results will remain confidential to the expectation of the family member.  Further negotiation should occur as part of any scene between family members or any other play partner.